Dear Resident


Greetings, salutations and peace.

By now, if you have read Dear Resident often, you are somewhat familiar with my writing style, form and intent. As I have written many times, I believe that everything has to do with everything and everybody has to do with everybody, which I hope is reflected in my writing. I usually start Dear Resident with one subject, incorporating more as I go along, tying them all together, leading to a central theme. I am, however, after much thought, dumbfounded as how to start this edition of Dear Resident. The only thing that comes to mind is the song lyric, “It’s a thin line between love and hate.” The way I see it, that thin line must be ABUSE. And unless you are on the far right (love) or far left (hate), you have been an ABUSER.

If you are on the far right (love), you would never think of doing anything, intentionally or unintentionally, in word or deed to cause dismay or injury to someone that you really love or care for deeply. If you are on the far left (hate), you would never think of getting close enough to what you hate, under any circumstance, not even to cause dismay or injury. How often you have been the abuser depends on how close to or far away from you have been from that thin line. Those of us close to that line cross it many times back and forth, love to hate, hate to love, day in and day out not realizing what we are doing to ourselves, our family, community and society at large.

Unfortunately, one’s actions must be extremely wrong, loud or brutal to be considered abuse. But it is most often the subtle (not easily detected), hopefully unintentional daily ABUSE (lack of concern and consideration for others), that goes undetected or ignored, that undermines relationships and families, husbands and wives, destroying the self esteem of men, women and children, young and old. There are many different kinds of ABUSE, but only one type – hurtful, causing harm or damage in some way. And unless you have had an extraordinary life, you have been ABUSED. Webster’s Dictionary defines ABUSE as to misuse (use wrongly), to mistreat (to hurt by treating badly), to use insulting, coarse or bad language about or to and a bad, unjust or corrupt custom or practice. The most common form of abuse, Domestic Violence, has been defined as a set of ABUSIVE behaviors which can include physical, emotional, sexual, psychological (mental) and economic abuse. It further states that it is critical to understand that domestic violence includes a pattern of power and control that one person or people (the perpetrator) exercises over another (the victim) that physically harms, induces fear or prevents or forces the victim to act in a manner that he or she does not which to act.

If you define the term domestic (having to do with home or family or one’s own country) the definition of domestic abuse can victimize one person or entire groups, like homosexuals, and races of peoples, like Blacks or Jews. Mankind’s abuse extends beyond itself to everything within its environment and is as old as the Bible account of Cain and Abel and as young as a toddler verbally or physically abused by an adult.

It reaches from the bottom of Corporate America where workers are paid minimum wage, not enough to live, to the top, where CEOs are paid millions, more money that they need to live multiple life times.

It encompasses workers in every corner of the globe, paid slave wages, while stock market prices soar as the result of their labor.

Abuse is also self-inflicted, by excessive use of drugs and alcohol. It is nurtured, under the guise of being an unbreakable habit, by smokers, gamblers and others who indulge in vices to the point of injury to themselves and those around them.

Abuse, like most social ills, does not discriminate. It is present in every race and culture and on every socio-economic level, which poses the question, “Is abuse a part of who we are or part of what we do?”

Abuse can be a self-fulfilling, self-perpetuating evil based on ones culture, community and family history.

Unfortunately, patterns of abuse are not easily broken. To change abusive behaviors, it is often necessary to change one’s entire life.

I truly believe that everything should start with the individual desiring or in need of change. We should always examine ourselves first and make changes before we ask the same of others. How close to that thin line are you? ABUSE – Don’t take it. Don’t give it. Don’t be it.

Sincerely, Pat

Tags: , , , ,
Categories: Uncategorized